“You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that wont spoil…” -John 15:16
She asked “God, how do you see me?”
Instantly she was taken to another world. Her skin could feel the shifting atmosphere and her mind couldn’t grasp the reality of this realm. She closed her eyes and basked in the sweet smell that surrounded. All of a sudden she was in a beautiful room. She sat on a throne like chair so high that in order to get down she feared it’d be a dangerous jump. She felt a lift and her feet were suddenly on the ground.
Mirrors appear before her. There were plenty, giving her options.
She walks towards one and suddenly….. She sees it all. The broken mirror exposes her pain, her scars. Looking at herself only brings about tears. She is reminded of her shame, her fears, her flaws, her sin and every reason why a high, mighty and perfect God shouldn’t look upon her lovingly.
The image shatters, as she feels a sweet tug. She is redirected. “Wrong mirror” He says.
She walks to another. Here she sees beauty, perfection. Her hair is neatly picked up and her clothes are intact. Her skin is clear, her body is slim and SHE IS PERFECT, too perfect. She notices a mask on her face. As she contemplates what this can mean, Her feelings take a hold of her and anxiety clouds her mind. She realizes she could never measure up to such perfection, that her hair won’t always be intact and her clothes won’t always be neat and wrinkle free.
Again, the image shatters before her, as she feels a sweet tug. She is redirected. “Wrong mirror” He says.
She walks around, taking her time, trying to stumble upon the correct one. “Stop” she hears. Before she can even think of it Her body obeys.
She looks in the almond shaped mirror before her. Her eyes widen as her mask drops and a crown is placed on her head. She recognizes herself from the first two mirrors but the anxiety, fear, shame and perfection she once saw while looking at her reflection are now chained in a corner. Her skin glistens and her eyes shine. She radiates with joy and hope. This version of her is different. She sees confidence and strength, she stands tall and beautifully. Words float around her as she feels an intense love pour over her.
Conqueror, Strong, Beautiful, Smart, Compassionate, Wise, Loved, Worthy, Princess, DAUGHTER.
She smiles, still looking at her reflection. She examines the weird shape of the mirror and comes to a realization….
She was looking into His eyes.
The most difficult time to allow God to do something through me is when I’m looking into the wrong mirror.
During rough seasons especially, it is easy for me to disqualify myself. I often find myself looking into the first mirror, the one that highlights my weaknesses and gives me a detailed list of everything that is wrong with me. That’s when the lies come in. The lies that say that I’m not saved enough, not holy enough, God can’t use me while I’m in a mess, right? After all you can’t be used until after your storm is up.
WRONG! So wrong!
We’re either looking at ourselves through mirror one and see only our brokenness or mirror two and try to be absolutely perfect. Either way we fail and end up disappointed.
We have this misconception, the thought that says “God can’t absolutely use me until I am perfect, without flaws”. The problem with that is that we will always fall short to perfection. And yet God still chooses us.
Personally, when I feel the most broken and out of strength is when it’s hardest for me to share hope and joy with the rest of the world. The truth is that my situation doesn’t disqualify me from sharing Jesus with the world, I disqualify myself.
In the story above, the girl doesn’t change with each time she looks at herself in a mirror, the way that she sees herself changes. She is still the same but her feelings are altered by what she is seeing and believing about herself. The same thing happens with us.
Our perspective changes according to what we are seeing and believing about ourselves.
He already chose us, despite our failures and short comings. It’s our turn to make a choice as well; which mirror do we want to look at ourselves through? We can choose to see our flaws, everything that we have done and will do wrong and drown in disappointment, We can choose to strive for perfection, fall short and allow anxiety to creep in, or We can choose to allow all the other mirrors to shatter before us, have Jesus redirect us, look at ourselves through eyes of love and compassion and realize what we’re truly capable of.
God is a good God, one who longs for you. He thinks good thoughts about you, even when you don’t think good thoughts about yourself… And even more when you’re in a mess.
If only you can see the BEAUTY created, through the painters eyes.
Which mirror do you choose to look at yourself through today?