This was birthed from a prayer, a hungry heart that wanted more of God and realized that there were things within myself keeping Him from certain areas in my life.
“Break down the walls, Jesus”
Situations and circumstances in life over the years turned me into a skillful builder. I learned to build up walls in my heart that were meant to keep out pain, they were meant to protect me, but instead kept the ONE that can heal out.
“They’re no longer walls to protect if I fear letting YOU (God) in”
I’d been afraid. Afraid of what was hidden in the crevasses of my heart and of the mess that had accumulated over time. It had been hard for me to allow people to get messy along with me and so that had carried over to my relationship with God. I was afraid to let Him get messy with (and for) me while addressing my chaos [Silly me, as if He hadn’t already willingly done that 2,000 plus years ago on the cross].
Some things I was very aware of, other things came as a shocker. But walking into the dusty, messy, really dirty areas of my heart that need some work ( and even more so, knowing that the author and perfector of life is holding my hand through it) has been oddly satisfying.
Of course, it never feels that way at the moment.
But confronting pain, unforgiveness, fear, anger, amongst so many other things has made me realize that constantly checking your heart is so important and that even the tiniest of things matter. Even more it’s allowed me to see Him glorify himself even in my weakest moments, it’s pushed me to serve wholeheartedly and has challenged me to, like David, address my soul and praise him through the chiseling.
He’s still working, still molding, still breaking some things down and I am learning to trust this skillful builder that tears down walls and turns them into gardens.
Growth happens here, remember?
Here’s my heart y’all.
I pray that this blesses you as it has blessed me. But mostly I pray that it may encourage you to allow Jesus into your own messes because He really is the best at cleaning things up and making good out of our scars. I declare boldness to step on the fear that whispers sweet nothings in your ears and intertwines you in its lies. The doors of your hidden chambers fly open and Jesus steps in to rearrange your space. I pray that you may step into His fullness and embrace the process that leads to the garden. It is ever so worth it!
Break down the walls Jesus, in your name. Amen.